Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Bringing Adult Children (back) to Faith 2

The first step in bringing adult children home is Affiliation (the previous blog).
The second step is Association.  When you associate with someone, you work side by side with them. 
This is not a long term commitment nor a blood brothers activity.  You're helping a neighbor put a roof on.  You help put up chairs after an event because a friend asked you to help them.
For alienated children (of all ages), one of the most important steps (remember this is a progression) you can take is to simply do something with them that does not have them as the focus.  If your child gets a hint of, "This will be another opportunity to give them the talk," then they are out of there - if they show up at all.
You really need to spend time with your child just doing "stuff".  Quality time is important but only in small doses.  Quantity time is critical at this stage of wooing someone to Christ.  People need to feel safe that you are not going to badger them.  This is especially true (and requires longer effort) if you have been at odds with your child for a while.  They need to know first that you love them and like them and also, paradoxically, that they are not the center of your life.  Partnering primes the conversation pump with trivial matters so that the conversation you long for can happen...later.  Trying to pry that rose bud open only makes a mess so relax.  Take your time. Shut up and just do something with them.  Associate with them.   Oh... and pray like crazy. 

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