CounterFormation: Time with Dad

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Time with Dad

Early childhood researcher, Urie Bronfenbrenner found that fathers generally think that they spend 20 minutes a day talking with their children.

Using lapel recorders, researchers found that those same fathers actually spent 37 seconds a day talking with their children.

Children spend 7 hours in a school setting, 2 hours (US average) in front of the TV, and a couple of hours of the world’s cultural input through music. How much impact can 37 seconds have? Amazingly, a tremendous amount. Children so value parental interaction that even ½ minute can win out against 660 minutes if it comes from Dad.

Research also shows that more that 37 seconds from a parent is a better thing.

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Fridge Parenting (to post on your fridge)

Refrigerator Parenting Tip #4

To have conversations with your child, ask who, what, when, where, how, why questions. These are called open-ended questions which means they cannot usually be answered “yes” or “no”. The next step is to listen. An easy way to let people know you hear them is to not intrude or judge and then keep the conversation alive (even with adults) by simply restating the last thing they say.

“How was lunch today?” “It was fine.” “Fine, huh?” “Yeah, ok.” “What did you have?” “Ham.” “You had ham?” “Well, ham and macaroni.” “Oh, ham and macaroni.” “Yeah, Billy took my roll.” “Took your roll?” “He and Sam started playing catch with it.” ‘Playing catch with it?” ……… You get the idea. It sounds robotic and fake but it makes you pay attention and confirms to them that you actually are hearing them.